Write in your Journal. These are IC for the writer, but OOC information for the reader. Share your personal adventures with others. Give them a peek inside the character they might not otherwise get to see.
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Re: Shoals

Post by Smallcorners » Mon Nov 26, 2018 1:24 pm

The sheet is in the box on the Little Trouble, the emotions embedded upon it are mixed, but there is a distinct note of fury under the calm.

How is Ghaal walking free? I know I got angry on seeing him, poor Rando, I know he felt my reaction as he immediately sent me a message to redirect my attention. By the time I returned home from Jato he was calm in that sort of "I am going to be dangerous about this...later" way of his.

Rando has a way of reminding me is not exactly the right word as I center when I use the force intentionally, but to balance. Yes, balance is the right word considering I usually need to concentrate to center, but I can balance just by having him near. I believe I do the same for him, create balance, clarity.

Woke up at some point with Koga curled up with us, she must have come home sometime before dawn and needed the contact. I didn't mind, snuggling is something I have learned to do, not intimate in a sexual way, but in an emotional one. There is fragility here still, but we are working on it.

Megan took the news I told her in a barely concealed panic, though she wished me well, not sure about the us part. She did think I was crazy, but then I wondered if she had truly seen us together? Perhaps not, she was very bedazzled by Al to notice other people were connecting too. However she passed on a warning, a suggestion, that we not make our wedding public. The more private the better, though her word was elope, otherwise I might be saying vows while dodging blaster bolts.

We protect our own. However part of that protection is not being foolish, Par will scout for other places to have the ceremony itself. I suppose the reception can remain at Keeper's, considering that Rando and I are pretty much agreed to do cake and well wishes first, then skedaddle to let the others party the night away. The reception is also going to be open to anyone, well almost anyone.

I did not tell her we were living in Agathon, but I am not that hard to find, nor really is he. I am glad however to have the Little Trouble more than flight worthy so we can avoid Imperial space as much as possible.

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Re: Shoals

Post by Smallcorners » Sun Dec 02, 2018 9:23 am

There is a weariness to the feel of the paper, and a growing maturity, perhaps an understanding of something once romanticized. There is determination there too, and a gentle strength. This piece of semi-fancy stationary, bearing the header for a hotel in Hanna, is in a box on the Little Trouble.

Finally a moment to sit and write, he is sprawled across the bed, pillow tossed on the floor, the sheet twisted about his torso. I want to remember this sight, of him laying there with his hair mussed, and eyes half open watching me write, but content to lay still for a moment longer. We have a long day ahead of us.

We had a long day behind us.

I was pulled out of Dantooine and tossed onto an NR cruiser as soon as it was clear we would not hold the planet, my job was clear, help the wounded. And there were so many. The attack on our home was brutal and extraordinarily hard fought on both sides, in the end, they had fresh reinforcements and we had none. Some where I must have collapsed and been passed off, because I awoke in a pond,the Little Trouble humming nearby and Rando overseeing the loading of supplies and people.

We have been doing that since. Though many of the people we are carrying are the most vulnerable, or injured, those needing care. We have also been ferrying supplies to the various camps as we check on them. Dantooine, Chandrila, Tanaab, Naboo, and one brief stop on Endor for a few hours by me while he was busy wrangling senators.

He has done most of the flying, I have done most of the peopling while we are aloft. Of the animals that we had with us a week ago when we left for Naboo, only Nasha is still in flight, the canids are in a safe place and I expect we will collect them once we carry more supplies than injured. While they all can protect, Nasha has the advantage that she can be ridden, or pull a cart as needed. Not that she likes to, but she will if asked. The Little Trouble's life support system is robust, but the less it can be strained the better.

The other day, when I woke in that pond, it was not an easy wakening. I was not sure why until yesterday. Somehow Fazza had gotten left behind when we pulled out, and he was taken, then slain. It was his passing I had felt I suppose. I don't know the details, or how Bywing got them to tell to Z, but Alisyad wants it looked into. How did he know Allison had taken our gardener? It would explain why Dantooine, and Agathon have been harder to approach since the take over.

Amusement here, love, a brightening after the growing sadness of the last paragraph.

He is making faces. I think he is getting better at reading me though he has always been perceptive there is a fading line from the pen across the paper as if her hand had been pushed aside

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Re: Shoals

Post by Smallcorners » Wed Dec 05, 2018 1:25 pm

The same stationary for the hotel in Hanna City. The feel on the sheet is mostly calm with an underlying unease and restlessness. This sheet will join the others on the Little Trouble.

Supplies, rounds, supplies, contacts. In between watching him soak up the senatorial experience from Ivunuvi's box. She is still on Dantooine, refusing to leave Agathon while she feels she can do some good there with her presence. In the meantime I get to flash my ID with the senator's aide symbol and get into the chambers with 'approved guests' to keep up with the goings on.

The hotel staff are starting to get used to Nasha trotting behind me. They appreciate the lack of raucousness in the salon when we are in there from the visiting crews, something about 200 kilos of cat could do that to a place. The staff have also expressed surprise at how quiet, tidy, and friendly she is to those that she learns should be there. One of them commented that when I am playing on stage that they would swear she purrs in tune and on key!

Getting wounded off of Dantooine is beginning to prove problematic. Allison, I mean Alhai Paven, has been spotted on the planet, and in a Holonet report on Dantooine. It seems she is taking no prisoners, and it is getting harder to get through the blockade. I would rather not show off the Little Trouble's new trick yet, but it might just be a matter of time now. I should see if we can get a fresh set of pass codes from Alisyad? That might ease some of the passage.

General Anishor has called for a squad meeting tonight, I need to check the secures later for where and when.

Tomorrow is another GRC Race in Broken Bridge on Corellia. This is an evening race, and afterwards Rando hinted at a trip to Nashal. Somehow I am not sure he is wanting to find wrix or panther kittens, so I wonder what the other reason is for going?

Do I mind that he likes to have more than one reason to do something? No, not really. We were talking about the personality points of the Chandrilians, and NR leaders in general. He said that in the end those that are pragmatic will eventually lead, but it will be the idealists that will get them to that point. He tends towards pragmatism, and I tend towards idealism.

I wonder if I can lure him out of the city long enough for a picnic lunch?

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Re: Shoals

Post by Smallcorners » Fri Dec 07, 2018 3:35 pm

Same Hanna City hotel stationery, for now this is tucked into one of Nasha's packs. It will eventually get to the box on the ship.

Dathomir did not go well, our losses were significant. What is it that we are suddenly lacking? Or has the shattered factions of the Empire started to work together? Their unity is a terrifying thought.

I am having many terrifying thoughts lately, am I getting them from him in exchange for the calm? Perhaps it is part of the balance? Which would make sense, I should accept his worries and fears as my own so we can work together better in our lives.

A new worry surfaced last night after the race. Rando noticed a Transdoshan watching me, and somewhat him, later he caught a glimpse of this same being when we went to Nashal. Probably using the same methods, Azrathiel also traced us to Nashal to warn us about this hunter. For hunter is what they are, and I am their prey. He said they came up to him after we left wanting more information about me, and that they were acting agitated, vicious.

We took some steps to misdirect and cover our steps after Azrathiel left us, though that means a day or two without the Little Trouble at our disposal. I had the ship's codes altered again, but not the registration. I can ask the EUoC rep to bury my name deeper in the files instead.

This hunter might put a crimp in my plans to go to Megan's reception on Jato in a couple days. Of course right after Rando said he would consider going. He says he will not hide, though he is careful. I insist that if he will not, I will not as I will be beside him. Which has instilled a bit more caution in his life, and perhaps a certain restlessness. He has yet to learn that caution does not need to mean keep the ones you love away from everything all the time.

Which returns me back to my involvement in the squad that covers this area of the galaxy. He is not happy about it, but he understands it. I think if there was another alternative than stepping onto that battlefield he would encourage me on that path. At the same time, I am encouraging him to have a greater part, even if it is not on that same field.


To do:
-Find a dress for the reception, even if I don't go. Until I get home I want more than four outfits, not counting my racing leathers or armor. He could use a few things too.
-Find an apartment or small house in Hanna or Nayali if we are going to be here long term. The hotel does have suites, but they are expensive and the extra privacy would be welcome. Besides, I miss cooking.
-Get Rando his own Senator's Aide ID for the Senate. It is interesting to go, but I also need to do other work.
-Life day gift for Rando. I found things for the dads and mom, but my mate is much harder.
-Check on his eye appointment, he might want to put this off.
-Contact his folks, maybe we can go there for Life day instead? It would be nice to see them and Koga again.
-Give Nasha a proper bath.

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Re: Shoals

Post by Smallcorners » Thu Dec 13, 2018 12:52 pm

The paper is still from the Hotel in Hanna, some errand or other had her forget it on the table in the living area of their apartment in Hanna, though it will eventually get to the box on the Little Trouble.

To do:
-Dress and suit for Megan & Al's thing accomplished.
-Our own space in Hanna accomplished. I am starting to understand better how being part of the Entertainer's union is beneficial. I am working them a lot, even so they tell me that I am not anywhere near the most demanding, and probably one of the most polite.
-Rando's Senate ID accomplished! Beware Senators, my love can freely prowl amongst you now.
-Life day gift... I handed him the packet of information that came in from my contacts about Ord Padron. Okay, so I planned on the Sabel being a wedding gift, but the ship is in more danger than I thought and we need to move now to secure it. Until he reads the packet, he still does not know this is about the ship, but Handsome is clever and what other reason would I have for wanting to go out there? Still should find him something personal, or smaller than a ship personal.
-Eye appointment. Why cant people just return a comm?
-Tanaab is under Imperial entanglement, we will figure something out.
-For the moment Nasha is not covered in sand.

Wedding to do:
-Location - Where ever it happens. The Imperials are making a huge push lately and far fewer places are feeling safe enough for this on anything larger than an extremely personal scale. Please not a battlefield?
-Officiator - Still hunting Maltas...
-Guests at Ceremony - not changed, unless we really do elope, in which case Jenn drives the getaway ship. In a dress.
-Date - Still after Life day
-Guests at reception - Same, though might turn into who can we smuggle cake to?
-Dresses - Must do this still
-Rings - Or other symbol, these can be engraved... I think Jaz can arrange this too, or Rayne, depending on who we can eventually get to meet.
-Cake - I was not kidding in that it should be smuggleable. Is that a word? Is now. Leaning towards the creamy, fruity, but not too sweet.
-Food - Edible, easy. Maybe I should start getting containers and just hand out bags of food and cake.
-Reception - Probably a picnic in a cave at this rate.
-Music - We will make our own.
-Wedding Party - We still have Jenn. Cari is caught on Dantooine as is Chewie.
-Suits - see note under dresses. And no Armor... maybe armor.
-Honeymoon - Same as before, hopefully? A tour of places no one else is. That is all he will tell me.
-Animals - Nasha, Choku, Rioux and the pup are with us out of necessity and the fact they already were when Dantooine was taken. Ivu is wrangling the rest.
-Ship - The Little Trouble is kept ready for the maximum run at all times these days. His ship? The flying cargo hold? It still looks terrible, but... We will take the Trouble.
-Paperwork - I still have Ivu's, Alisyad might need to redo whatever he was going to do.
-Vows - I will write mine, but lately it is down to one word: Live.
-Breathe - I look at my lists and I can see I might be having a bit of a panic, really need to not project that. We have time, right? Live.

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Re: Shoals

Post by Smallcorners » Sat Dec 22, 2018 4:50 am

The paper was from her stash at Dantooine, the feel of it was a quiet joy from being home tempered with an awareness of the danger she had put them in by insisting on being there. This would eventually get to the box on the Little Trouble, but perhaps not for a couple days, until then it is folded and setting on the table by her side of the bed.

We are home, even if only for a couple nights, we are here. Dantooine. For me this is a place that I know I belong, have known since that first time Alisyad brought us here and asked if I was hearing the planet talk to me? Yes. Such a strange thing to know, to understand. Dantooine is a living thing and it welcomed me back.

This past week Alisyad and I have been purposely practicing the part of my talent that we all know could absolutely kill if it got out of hand. Yet we are not trying to use it to kill, rather the lessons are on controlling the feedback so I wont cause a death, but still can defend myself. This is different from what was asked of me when I was a little girl at the opera before my father hid us away. Different from the same use in Academy. For those times I was not pulling back the emotions I was sending, merely enhancing the desired feeling through song.

I cannot send my own emotions like this, we have tried. My fathers and Rando can feel an echo of how I am feeling when I 'speak' to them. They can feel clearly when I touch them or very close, but I while I can share, I cannot directly change what they are feeling. Some empaths can directly and at a distance, my talent is different, rare and unusual due to the handicaps I have.

So how do I describe this? I can gather an emotion from another person enhance it strengthen it, and send it back out to them or to anyone around. The stronger the emotion, the stronger the feedback. So I could loop a mere vague sad feeling to utter crushing depression in a few cycles, not just back to the person I took the original emotion from, but to a crowd of people around me including myself.

Our practice was on focusing to one person, shielding myself from the feedback while still working it, stopping the feedback. The practices are exhausting and I am not even really using the Force yet. This is just me. The Force creates a stronger effect over a larger area. What I am using the Force for is to try and shield myself, then to send to ground the excess power.

More practice, centering, shielding, grounding. I can center now, but I still need to hum or sing to find it as my center is over my head, maybe I should have been taller? There is a benefit to this in that those that are trying to harm me have a tendency to swing, or shoot high. Alisyad calls it my halo.

While we now know what shape my shield works best as, that does not mean I can get into it easily. I read the world constantly, the shield muffles or blocks, most of what I can read. Like walking about with a knitted cap over your eyes. You can sort of see, but not really. Grounding is not hard, but something that needs to be done with some thought. For that is returning power to either the ground, or to another. In this case I would be trying to release emotionally charged power, and I need to be careful to not not harm anyone in the process, or imbue the area around me with what I was doing.

Alisyad has had to rethink the process of training this a few times. Grixter tried to compare me to Bastila. I doubt I will ever be able to have such a range, but I might have more intensity the closer one is in proximity. Mine seems to be a roughly a circle somewhere between 500 and 600 feet with me at the center. Like her I am not able to move on my own while in a feedback. I can move while in Focus, but not the other.

I can practice the centering, the shielding, the grounding, the focus and somewhat on breaking it. Will knows I need all the help I can get on just those things, but this specific practice needs at least two people. Alisyad has certain words that he uses, almost like a phrase that is attached to an emotional one to break my focus. Rando's way is different, I am not sure how to explain how he can cut through it other than he is my balance. Maybe he will be my 'rock' someday. Par has to work a bit more to get me out of focus, but he can with enough time.

Here is it almost dawn, I have been watching him sleep next to me for hours. So much for waking him with bacon, at this point I am hoping to be up before the Festival starts.

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Re: Shoals

Post by Smallcorners » Wed Dec 26, 2018 10:24 am

The page is tucked into the box on the Little Trouble with the previous ones.

Such a busy few days, this Life Day.

The Festival went well, and while it was a bit subdued, everyone there had fun. I did run into Imperials, but the commander this day was Ansasor and they dared not cross him thus for the most part we were not bothered. Even so we were not going to press our luck by causing any trouble, bringing any more attention to ourselves. We stayed our two nights, said our goodbyes, and left before the rotation changed.

During the Festival Rando pulled me away, asking me to ride with him for a while, I was not going to argue with the man! He brought me to a bluff that overlooked the river from Agro. Below us, all around the plains rolled away, in the far distance to one side were the mountains, to the other the the small sea. The skies for the moment were clear and the colors magical. He proposed again, up there, asking me to marry him on that little hilltop. Yes!

He thinks he is not romantic. If this is him not being romantic, I am in trouble if he ever figures out how to be.

We went to to the Life Day cease fire party in Coronet the day after. It was exhausting, and not just for me. There were so many people there, yet it was still entertaining. Again, we were surrounded by Imperials that I knew, and in some part trusted with my safety, even if the thought makes him squirm. Alisyad was there, Par, Jenn, Cari, Davyn, some others from my squad, so it was not just us. MASC provided the entertainment for the evening with a long dancing line as a highlight.

Life Day we took some time to bring a bit of comfort to 'our' refugees. I was caught by a little scamp, a boy, empath. He is one I had noticed once before, mute, but I am not sure why. He can project and is a strong reader. There might be more to him. His family is loving and he makes friends easily enough. I forgot where Rando said they were originally from, but they had claimed a farm close to Agathon. Hopefully soon we can get them home again.

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Re: Shoals

Post by Smallcorners » Mon Jan 07, 2019 12:54 am

The sheet is of a stock not used before, there is a stack of it in the box with the rest of the written journal.

I should have written earlier, always so much happening, and nothing at all.

Ghaal showed up on Chandrila, spent some time watching us, more time than would be casual. Rando confronted him, told him to back off or face being arrested. Ghaal left, but the next day a warrant appeared for Rando's arrest from the Major. It took a few days before they met, the major and he to discuss...things.

A few days that we were not together, mostly my fault, not wanting to feedback off if him as we were both already stressed. Partly his desire that no matter who hunts us, that we not be taken together. I am thinking that apart is worse. The warrant is gone now, as Alisyad said, it was meant to get his attention.

I spent most of that time visiting Ivu, staying in our home. I did the laundry, dusted,the few things that I did not get a chance when we were there for the festival. I spent time in the rain and the river letting Dantooine wash over me.

Did I mention meeting another force sensitive? Qualnar. He is on the path, the proper path, though I should check in with him again soon. The Will does not like one of us running around alone, I should know.

I will write more later, but I am exhausted and Rando is heavily bruised from our mission last night. I hate battle droids so much.

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Re: Shoals

Post by Smallcorners » Sat Jan 26, 2019 4:14 pm

These sheets are in the box on the Little Trouble, the feel on them is mostly weariness, determination, hope.

I am so tired of being sick, injured, and nearly dying. Granted this is not an everyday occurrence, it just happens than when I am it lingers, or is spectacular, or some other sort of nonsense. I certainly am not trying to have any of this happen.

Once upon a time, long, long ago, there was a company called Naret Industries. Turns out they sold weapons, among other things, but primarily weapons. And they did research. It was one of the research items that I had run afoul of. Millennia old, broken even, but still so dangerous that a mere sliver nearly killed me, and caused the problems I am dealing with now.

Naret was a Sith company, when Sith were still sort of Sith and a few of the race were even running around. Granted even by then it was more religion than people, but the people in the religion considered themselves to be the people, if that makes sense. Turns out Naret was still somewhat active several decades ago, but keeping the whole Sith thing on the quiet considering what they were doing and what happened to their religion. Rule of two and all that. Extremists is what Jadia called the twoers. She had other words for them too, but that was the most polite.

So way back when Jadia was still alive, or maybe not long after she passed... not sure yet as Kay is still looking things up... Someone in Naret came up with a brilliant engine design that used the Force as part of it's booster power. I'm not an engineer, I am just telling what I understood through the muddled head. Volunteers on the ship would be injected with some sort of marker that would safely siphon off some of their energy for use by the engines of this ship. There may have been more than one, but probably not more than two, again, Kay and Caarlah are searching records.

So this engine boost thing worked pretty well as long as they had volunteers that were not exhausted. The failures were probably pretty drastic, which gave someone else a different, and to them brilliant, idea. Lets make a gun! The bullets should be of this highly darkforce imbued material that is tied to the engine of the ship, even across great distances. Then let us hunt Jedi with it and suck them dry! Power for parsecs!

Jedi might not have been their only target, I am sure the weapon would have worked on any force user it shot. So now, long long ago, there is this ship flying around Tatooine of all places. Here is where there is even more speculation as that ship crashed into the side of a mountain not too far where Mos Espa is today. Inside, was what looked like the body of a Jedi if you consider the robes and lightsaber a clue. There was also the gun, and some of the ammunition. So what may have happened?

Said Jedi might have been captured, or somehow got into the ship, fight in the engine room, Jedi gets shot, engine takes a burst of speed at the wrong time probably during a sand storm, and WHAM!! Mountain. Who is not killed in the crash, either escapes, was dead during the fight, or something as the site seemed undisturbed except by me, and I will get to that. So the bullets were designed to shatter on impact, more slivers, more power draw, harder to remove, etc... And they inherently sought the force. All the evil!

Present day, I go to the Boonta Eve Races in Mos Espa, I have other things to do there besides race, but the hopper is part of the story and freeing slaves is not. After a couple runs I decided to go for a bit of a ride, Nasha is not whining at me for being stuffed into the other side of the ship, so I head off to first stop at Destalon for some supplies and to see what Abe is offering for armor these days. Yes, I know they are Imperials, and I am not, but I have contacts and friends there still. People that took care of me when I first graduated and was let loose from Academy.

So from Destalon I headed west, there were some krayts about that I buzzed, but my goal was Oasis. Oasis is not marked on a map, and it too is somewhat controlled by Imperials, though there are almost as many bounty hunters hanging out. There is also standing water in the form of a small lake. They know me there as Ayna a somewhat spoiled and somehow independently wealthy art collector for a Hutt called the Architect. It was a risk to go alone, but I intended to set down on the far side of the lake, swim a bit then fly off without going into the village. I had done this before so the visit would not stick in anyone's mind. That was the plan.

Instead what happened was a Tusken ambush as I skimmed the ridge heading towards the village, they got the engine and the stabilizers for the hopper right away. I managed to eject both Nasha and myself before the crash, we fell above the crash site into a crevasse on the side of the mountain. In desperation I pulled as much sand as I could that was in the area and filled in the hole above us. I am so very grateful that Alisyad had me practice with sand. Lifting one grain of mineral is not hard, lifting ten and shaping them is not hard hard either if one can see what they are doing. Lifting 350 pounds of individual grains of sand, dirt, debris with the force and holding it overhead with enough strength to support a frustrated Tusken for hours?

I thought at first it was just exhaustion from that, following the prior week of extreme use. Mind that I am not used to expending that much energy, the whole not drawing attention thing is always in the forefront of our thoughts. I am a healer, most of what I do is not seen anyway, but the most flashy thing I can do is float and move stuff around. Both of which are tiring. So once the Tuskens finally left and Nasha helped me to Oasis, I was very exhausted, thankfully we were just mostly bruised and scraped up. I rested in the lake for a bit after telling the dads what happened, then went into the village to get a room overnight.

The next morning I felt terrible, I remember being confused by this as I rode back to Mos Espa. Things went downhill from there. I was not regaining power, in fact I was draining it at an enormous clip. Dantooine could not help to do more than keep me from fading, even Alisyad backed by Par did nothing more than simply drain them too. Force sickness is when someone uses up all, or most their reserve to the point where their connection to the Force can be damaged. Usually one just needs to rest, not use it, let it build back up again, replenish it somehow. Force sickness is rarely fatal, in fact it is common among newer students still learning their limits and how to use what is around them. Warriors, healers, also tend to succumb to it. I am very familiar with the illness due to my own issues and that of Alisyad and Par.

Force Severing is when one is disconnected from the Force. Sometimes by accident, more often intentional. Alisyad has been disconnected twice, once intentional, once possibly accidental, but more possibly an intentional trap left for him. He is proof that very hard work can reconnect one to the Force. Reconnecting though can either make one more powerful, or more usual less. In his case, less sort of. He lost the ability to do the grand gesture sort of thing, like lift a ship, or explode a house. What he regained was micro control, something I am not sure he had before. Alisyad is still a very powerful force user, but now he is much more canny in it's use. He still works hard and practices every day to regain the macro stuff.

What happened to Par, and the other more likely occurrence before severing, is blocking. So in his case he was allowed, or managed to keep some access to the Force, but not to his full potential, removing the block flooded him. Par now needs to relearn control.

Due to whatever was happening to me I became frayed from the draining and the attempts to save my life by pulling power from my fathers. I could not lift a grain if sand if I tried. I put all remaining effort into staying connected to Rando and Alisyad. I promised Rando that I would not fade away on him, and I was very determined to keep that promise. I have a few reasons why I wanted, needed, to live. Even if I lost all connection to the Force. Physically there was nothing yet wrong with me that the med-scanners could find. How they managed to miss the sliver I am not sure.

Par, Alisyad, and Kay put their heads together, clearly I was ill from something? When did it start? Where was I? What was I doing? Par and Kay determined to back to Tatooine, the crevasse, to see if I possibly stirred up some old virus or something. What they found was the ship, Ironically now dusted with the sand I had been using to protect me and Nasha. It was clear to them it was a wreck. Somehow they got inside because something in there was pulsing with power that felt mostly like me.

They surmised that when I pulled the sand, some of which had to have been in the ship from all the thousands of years siting there, I somehow pulled a sliver of evil bullet from the body of the Jedi. So either before I created that sand shield, or after I let it drop, the thing got into me. As I had not gotten a whole bullet's worth, the draw was slower even though it was still insistent. This explains why it took days for me to finally collapse. The engine whatever was just stuffed full of my power, but instead of turning off it kept pulling more. Maybe because it was from the bullet?

They searched for a way to turn it off. Examining the body of the Jedi using the Force, finding the gun and some of the bullets, noting the disturbance of the sand and dust inside, one hypothesis on what made the Nautolan ill. So how to stop it? There seemed to be no easy way, so they went the hard way. The explosion must have been spectacular.

I was no longer being drained, but I was still leaking Force energy. When the traces of the taint showed up is unclear, but I think it was near the end, or during the surgery to get the sliver out. Apparently the bothersome thing moved. Kay, before they went to the crevasse, had tried to find a 'hotspot' for my infection, or a cause. At the time it was working on getting between my heart and lungs. Before that, and we knew what it was, the sliver was in my abdomen. Jegy ended up chasing the thing through my chest, then trying to keep it from piercing him once he had a grasp on it. Right now it is in a tiny box somewhere in one of Par's libraries awaiting research.

This is when I think the taint started to spread. It was an evil thing, and deep within me I have a pool of dark. I refuse to use it and I have done much to compress and contain that amount. Yet it too holds power. The sliver may have pierced that bubble and dragged the taint around with it. So now I am frayed, and dirty. I refused to work on healing the fraying until the darkness was gone. There was no way I was going to either give in to that, or have it be exploited somehow.

Jenn mentioned she had access to a library on Ryloth in a place called Daesha. I was in no condition to fly after the meeting on Jato so we parked the Little Trouble in Agathon, I told Koga where we were going, sort of, and then I was bundled onto the Pink. Par, Alisyad, the cats, were with me. Jenn and Cari were in Jenn's ship. I either meditated or slept the entire way.

The library itself was a private one with a clearly eclectic taste in books. We gathered up a bunch to read through then one of them flipped open a book on Jedi and it settled on a page about Yavin. I passed out, I remember leaning on Alisyad's back, then nothing. This was from the fraying, not the darkness, I was still injured but refusing to heal. In fact I was not using anything to do with the force other than keeping my connections open, or trying to shove the darkness back into it's corner. I woke up on the way to Yavin.

What I needed, what we were looking for, was a cleansing. Cari remembered that there was an enclave on Yavin called simply Light. Maybe there would be texts there? Or some clue on how to help me? I was not a Jedi, but I was determined to stay light. The doors yielded to her, other than the one Par tried getting it jammed. The place seemed empty other than the ghosts watching us with suspicion. I was careful to not touch anything or make any move that seemed aggressive.

While they respectfully explored I was stopped by the Will in front of one door. Alisyad tried to open it with no luck nor a reason why, I think it may have vexed him a bit deep down, but he remained serene looking, even when it whooshed open for Cari. The next door opened as well and I stayed close to her down the passage gambling on the thought that no traps would be sprung on her. She called the room we stepped into a Master's room. A single chair crouched in the center of an intricate design on the floor, above it another design of a star, or sun. The room was circular and tapestries hung around most of it.

Somehow I knew that I should not sit in that chair, though Jenn did and declared the cushion too flat. Alisyad and Par both picked up that the room had been used for rituals in the past, but we either lacked the artifacts, talent, or knowledge of what the room's intention was. Granted it probably held a snoozing master tired of dealing with their padawans. In the meantime I was pulled to , then stopped in front of a second door in the room. The Will wanted me to go to the center, not to center, but to go there.

Just because I was not using the Force did not mean it would not use me. Cari opened this door and the one much further along standing aside to let me step into an enormous round chamber that reminded me somewhat of the Senate. There were chairs of differing sizes and colors all about, and again a single imposing seat in the center. The floor dipped down and I realized I was on a narrow causeway suspended above stars. Surely they were not real despite what my eyes insisted?

Like the rest of the complex this room was filled only with an expectant, watchful air. I called out, but there was no answer. Then Alisyad told me to center, to sing. He told me to sing my story to let the bubbles rise... This analogy I knew, and as I was the one seeking the help, I insisted that it had to be me doing the asking, so I sang in the manner of my people. Or as much as I could in the air. I pleaded with the ghosts and any that would listen to help me, what had happened, what I needed, why.

To the others I may have just stood there singing, but to me I was in a room of people arguing about me, it felt like hours. No, I was not seeking to become one of them, I had a family and fully intended to keep them. What if I used the dark taint to cause havoc? I reiterated that I would not cause intentional harm. They poked my mind, they poked my soul, they examined my connection. More than one thought that I, Alisyad and Par should simply be struck down where we stood in the reality. They were surprised at my fierceness, amused at the determination, angered I dared to ask this of them, filled with hope that I did.

They are a dying breed and they knew it. I would not be Jedi, but I am light, did they dare to leave me to become another enemy when I so clearly did not wish to be? Did they not understand that I would rather be severed than be dark? Oh how I could have used Rando's clever ability to speak to the heart! In the end they decided to help me, or stall me, not sure which, but I was given a task and told to come back when I had it mastered. Learn to center, work on a shield for the darkness. I was already doing this, but I think they needed more time to debate and come up with a solution.

They agreed to help, that was the important part, these ghosts and half ghosts and not really theres. Were any of them holograms? Cari shrugged at me and we headed out. I managed to make it back to the Pink before I was once more falling over with exhaustion. In the end I did use the Force to contact them, but I caused no harm.

Centering, wait until they find out my center is not centered! The shielding will be harder. Par offered to help, I told him I can accept the teaching but the building must all be me. The irony of a shield being a first task is not lost on me, I don't think they expect me to come back. The surprise will be theirs.

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Re: Shoals

Post by Smallcorners » Mon Jan 28, 2019 7:00 pm

Her usual paper, imbued with calm. It would be found in the box on the Little Trouble along with the pictures of what seems to be a hoop with a string web decorated with crystals and carved beads. For the moment the other things she found in the memorial shrine are also in the box.

We spent the night on Naboo after returning from Jato. I am afraid that the practices that we had with the feedback projection caused an injury to his psyche. For this practices, we used his feeling of dread in space, once he had thought it to be a small thing. Then I spun it out into sheer terror. Last night I spent some time trying to heal that breach without using the Force. I may have merely managed to soothe him until he could think again.

I am so sorry, Alisyad.

The crowd on Jato was not, all familiar faces. Ren, Par, Cari, Jenn, Aimi, Aly, Vennie, and Ishha. In the end it was Jenn that won the ranged, Ren came in second. While I dismayed by the lack of participants, I was also relieved as I used the thinness of the Force on the station to more comfortably practice my centering without the cantrip. I also practiced pushing back the darkness. Slippery stuff.

The other day we visited a memorial shrine to several Jedi masters on Talus. It took a bit of work to get all the way through, nor did we know what we had found until we found it. I found several objects to bring back with me. I did not rob the shrine! I asked each Master if they would grant me the knowledge that they had set aside to share when the right person came along.

Par took pictures of each of the master's pictures or holos, and a picture of the one artifact that I found that was so very fragile. I am glad for the pictures as I want to recreate it as I found it, or closely anyway. I will need to find a hoop, the original was wood, and the right kind of string, the one I saw looked like some kind of spun leather, or sinew. I wonder though if it really was as it fell apart with the wood when I tried to lift it? I can ask Jaz about a leather thong?

Wait, maybe I should not ask Jaz about leather thongs...

One of the other things I found was a rectangular stone with some very shallow indents on the sides. It's not polished smooth as it is not shiny, but more like worn? The stone is a really dark gray and while it is stone, it still feels soft somehow. I think I am supposed to hold it, but it is too big for my hand to have a comfortable grip. I will see how Rando feels about it in his hand. I am wondering it if is a worry stone?

One of the masters had a carved shell in their drawer, the art is so intricate it is almost mesmerizing. The natural colors of the thing only make it even more stunning, creams, oranges, pinks, silvery grays, blues, teals. I wonder what it was used for? Though I suspect from the feel of each of the master's gifts, they all were aids in meditation somehow.

The very last thing I got was from a master I had called snooty to his hologram, I swear he smirked at me. He had refused me, but still teased. How? When Alisyad tossed me out of the pit I felt disappointment. Mine or his? Then Cari fell in and had the wind knocked out of her at the base of his pedestal. I made sure she was all right,then asked him again. This time the drawer opened and I pulled out an ivory flute about as long as my hand with the fingers spread. I thanked him and climbed up the rope after Cari.

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